


it was okay (just a little more)

by yoonversee



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Hurt, Light Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:27:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29824227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoonversee/pseuds/yoonversee
Summary: “You’re doing it again,” Chan mumbled.“You stare at him like he’s the only star in the sky.”
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	it was okay (just a little more)

**Author's Note:**

> its 2 am haha ok bye

“You’re doing it again,” Chan mumbled.

Felix’s eyes snapped to Chan. “Doing what?”

Chan peeled his eyes away from Felix and eyed the menu. “Should I get iced or hot coffee today?”

“What am I doing?” Felix whined. “Tell me, tell me.”

Chan pretended not to hear him, studied the menu as if it was his lifeline, which in a way it kind of was. He tried desperately to avoid Changbin’s gaze (gazing at Felix) at the corner of his eye.

He was hurting himself. And for some reason he didn’t care. He didn’t care if it was for Felix.

“So you’re just gonna ignore me?” Felix pouted.

Chan felt his heart chip away, just a little bit. It’s always just a little bit. Sometimes he imagined one day when all the chipping turned into one big shatter he’d be gone, broken and empty.

He swallowed down the lump in his throat. He decided that maybe it was okay for him to let his heart chip away this time, just this once.

“You stare at him like he’s the only star in the sky,” Chan said, his voice cracking a bit, but he didn’t think Felix noticed.

As expected, his heart chipped just a little more when Felix beamed, all bright and sunshine and beautiful. “I do that? Really?”

Chan nodded numbly, still studying the menu. He decided that maybe he should let his heart shatter now, get it over with. It was okay as long as it was for Felix, afterall. It was always okay as long as it was for Felix. “You should go say hi,” Chan said, his mouth dry, and he nearly choked out the next words. “He likes you, you know.”

Chan didn’t know it was possible for Felix to smile brighter, so so beautiful and everything Chan could ever ask for.

“Really?” Felix squeaked.

_Yes_ , Chan wanted to say, the thoughts bitter in his mind.  _Everyone can see it except for you._

But he looked at Felix then, and he looked so happy, so beautiful, so full of light and energy, and his heart sunk as he realized Felix would never be his; he would never get the chance to wrap him up in his arms, never get the chance to kiss his tears away, never get the chance to sleep with him, pressing soft fingers into his skin late at night, never get the chance to wake up with him, make him tea, sleep in with him. The lump in his throat was back and his bitter words died on his tongue.

The only thing chan managed to get out was a sharp, “Mmh.”

He peeled his eyes away from Felix once again, and he could practically hear the gears turning in Felix’s mind.  _I know him so well_ , Chan told himself, the thought making unexpected tears well up in his eyes, and he quickly blinked them away.

“I’ll do it. I’ll go talk to him,” Felix said then, lifting his chin up, confident.

“Go get him, Lix,” Chan said softly.

His heart chipped away just a little bit more as he watched Felix walk up to the table Changbin was sitting at, watched as Felix said something and watched as Changbin beamed up at him with an unmistakable fondness and tenderness.

Chan found a certain familiarity in it and he winced, realizing that it was the same exact way  _he_ looked at Felix.


End file.
